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Why Do I Always Have Bad Luck

Saturday, 15 September 2007

"Why do I always have bad luck", "Bad things always happen to me", "This always happens to me", "Why me?" or as the song goes "If I didn't have bad luck I'd have no luck at all".

Why is it some of us seem to be perpetually cursed with bad luck and some seem to have all the pieces in life fall into their lap everytime.

Those with bad luck struggle through life while those with good luck fly through life.

What makes these two groups different? 

The interesting thing is that those who have bad luck happen to them see it as an outside source, like the ancient myths of the Norns, the Fates, or the Moira there are supernatural beings directing this bad luck at them.

You Can Change Your Bad Luck

I was once one of these people who always have bad luck, I believed it fully, if I had to catch a bus the bus would arrive 10 minutes early so that I had to wait for the next one which was invariably late.

If I went for a drive it seemed like I would get every red traffic light, it just seemed to me that everything that could go wrong would.

I would be angry and frustrated a lot of the time as you can imagine. 

After I met some new friends they started to teach me a new way to look at life and at my problems.

They instead taught me that I was in control of my life and I could choose how I reacted to any situation.

That was the first step, learning that there were no supernatural beings or a path laid out by God that I was following - I was in control of my life, but if that was true why was I always having bad luck?

Focus. What you focus on is what you see.

Have you ever bought a new car before, say a white Toyota Hilux and driven off the lot only to spend the next week marvelling at how many other cars just like yours are on the road but you never noticed them before. The same would have happened if you bought a red Subaru 4WD. What you focus on in life is what you notice most.

Therefore if I focused on bad luck that is what I would notice most, and if I noticed every little piece of bad luck then it would add up to a lot of supporting evidence that I was affected, or cursed with bad luck.

"In a Gold Mine you can find gold or you can find dirt, it depends upon what you are looking for" - Unknown Amway Speaker

To change this around I started keeping a diary and I would write down 3 good things that had happened to me that day, I would do this just before bed so that my mind was put on a happy track just before sleep so my unconscious mind would have good things playing through my mind as I slept.

(Try this at home - look at your accounts or overdue bills or other big problem you have for 30 minutes before bed and see how bad a sleep you have that night).

Then my new friends taught me that sometimes there is a reason that something bad has happened, look into it and see if the 'bad luck' was actually good luck in disguise. Sometimes it might take days or weeks (or even years as I later found out) to see the benefit from the 'bad luck' that affected you.

This had the immediate effect of when bad luck occured rather than getting upset about it I would sit back and think "Where and what is the good in this?" or if I got a red light or other minor 'bad luck' I would just think "Oh well, maybe there is a reason for it" and not waste anymore time or energy on it.

Did Bad Luck Change To Good Luck? 

So to speak yes. Though I still had the same luck, nothing had really changed in the month after I had learned these new ways of looking at life, the way I looked at life had changed, and that in turn had taken my focus of the 'bad luck' and was replacing it with me looking for 'good luck' .

The nightly ritual of thinking of 3 good luck things that had happened reinforced in my mind that good luck did happen to me, all my luck was not bad.

Additionally I would be aware throughout the day that I had to find 3 good things to write about before I could sleep, this kept my mind somewhat focused on finding good luck each day, replacing my old habit of looking for bad luck.

Then again when I did have bad luck rather than me reacting badly and getting angry or frustrated I would look for some good thing that would come of it.

After a month looking for good luck was becoming more of a habit for me than my previous focus on bad luck and more good things seemed to be happening to me.

What about all hte red lights I got? Well I started counting green lights instead and it seemd that I was getting a lot of green lights suddenly so I kept a written tally for a week and you know what it came out about 50/50 - so I could have seen it anyway I was disposed to see it.

Before when I had bad luck i would be less inclined to take risks, to ask that girl for a date, to ask the boss for a pay raise, etc as I "knew" that my bad luck would interfere and cause it to become embarrasing or a disaster.

After my luck had changed I found I was more open to challenges, and luck had no real part in it. My life started to improve, I was a lot happier and with a lot less bad emotions.

Also realising that there were no supernatural powers controlling my life meant that someone else had to be in control.... me! I was in control of my life, if I did not like my life or the way it was heading then it was up to me to make some changes so that my life would change.

With all the new good luck I had I was more open to the idea of making changes and pursuing opportunities as I would never know how they would pan out until I followed through on them.

Now people look at my life and say "You are so lucky", but trust me I'm not, it's just a perception trick I play on myself.

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