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Got an email today:
"Considering that your size may limit you somewhat to heavies and character parts, I think you are doing exceptionally well."
I thought that was funny, I never thought of it like that - I always thought that I would get the part because no one looked like me....
... that was my thoughts. Movies are fantasy, people want to see fantastic people/physiques. So I spent 20 years in the gym making myself into this creation.
I was lazy, I did not want to do acting school or go to University and study drama and acting (I had done that already and thought the classes stupid). I wanted to be a big action movie star like Arnold, I wanted to walk out on the stage/set and have everyone go "Wow!". Little did I realise that bodybuilding alone did not make Arnold Schwarzenegger, it was his drive and personality.
I was lazy. 20 years of pumping iron and eating tuna and rice and little time spent on personal or mental development. I'd think about that if I had the choice again....
"Limit me to character parts" - I always thought that was an advantage, I can't be an extra, I have to be an actor, in a main role, probably an action role.
That is what I always saw myself as.
But thinking about it, if I was a more normal height and size then I would have gotten a lot more work along the way, a lot more experience, a lot more small roles - a lot more money.
Once again it seems I have gotten the difficult path to follow instead, but I see the difficult path leads to greater riches and opportunities at the end of the tunnel.
So I have to thank Stuart H. for his kind words in the email and I find it great encouragment from a former successful actor to hear his words that I am doing exceptionally well.
I don't feel it... but then I always drive myself harder than anyone else ever would.
Soon though.... soon.... I know the next movies coming up, they will be the ones that "make" me, for my own mind and self confidence at least, but that in itself is enough to turn the corner and make a real success for anyone.
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