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Many people travel to Thailand and leave with a bad impression - the international media do nothing to help this stereotype either - in fact I can say that CNN "reporters" are nothing more or less than hot windbags full of intestinal gas whos parents are closely related.
Tourism in Thailand is varied and amazing, with a different experience around each corner and culturally diverse people in each part of the country.
Today I will write a little about each of the main provincial groupings and their backgrounds as well as a brief note on attractions and tourism destinations in each area...
First up the CNN reporters - these imbeciles basically said the only reason that people travel to Thailand is for Child sex and that the area I live in is the center of a Government sponsored pedophilia and child sex slave racket. @$$holes.
I live in :
Bangkok (Krup Thep) and Central Thailand
Sukhumvit Road
I live in Sukhumvit road, a well known ex-pat and commercial center - there are many restaurants and night clubs to visit in this area, a short walk will give you a full range of cuisine from around the world, the place is live and jumping 24 hours a day. Sukhumvit is also home to the famous Nana Plaza group of Go Go Bars, many of the girls who work here are from poor rice farmer backgrounds from the Isaan region and they come down to work as dancers to support their young siblings through school and help their families make ends meet to give a better life to thier families, one girl I know came to work to save the family farm and now is leaving since she accomplished that noble goal.
Rememer that if you plan on partying in these areas - these girls loose dignity and the chance for a decent Thai husband by working these venues all in the name of sacrifice for the good of their brothers and sisters and parents so treat the girls with respect for what they sacrifice for their family. Lastly DO NOT fall in love with a Bar Girl if you do not live here, this is an unbreakable rule, you will suffer unspeakable torment - read the book Private Dancer to get a look at both sides of the story (I think this is a real story, if not it is so close to the truth that it is scary)
Outside of Sukhumvit there are a ton of other things to do and see, from the enormous Buddhas adorning the various temples (wats), to the river cruise and the floating markets, to the crocodile show, the Zoo (with piglets being brought up with a tiger for a mother) - the list is endless. Best thing is to not plan too much but visit any travel agent in Bangkok and they can give you a full range of activities to do that would last you weeks
Bangkok is predominantly run by Chinese/Thais, taller light skinned of Chinese ancestry. The majority of the working class seem to come from Isaan - North Eastern Thailand, generally shorter and darker skinned.
Khao San Road
Hate the place. Overrun by wannabe hippies and "cool" unwashed backpacker types wearing stupid clothing. Many of these idiots flagrantly disregard Thailands anti-drugs policies (laws) and smoke Gunja (Marijuana) fairly openly to the delight of the undercover police who then charge handsome 'fines' from these fools, often paying the drug dealer a kick back for dobbing in his clients.
Along comes Mr Policeman with an M16 or a .45 automatic and if you do not have a ton of money handy to accidentally drop as you hurredly exit the area then you are going to the Bangkok Hilton. Check at your local embassy for horror stories of Thai gaols, and the stiff sentences you can get for minor drug offences.
Khao San Road was cool when I arrived there in 1996, there were several wooden hotels - 1 hotel had 1 sit down western style toilet, but that hotel was always booked out. Now it is a garish area selling trinkets and "Thai Culture" (that no other Thai knows about) to unsuspecting young travellers, who have more money than sense.
In Khao San Road you can meet a ton of people from all over the world and find stories from travellers about where to go and where not to go, also it is extremely easy to travel around Thailand from here as the Travel companies set up and sell packages to get you from Khao San Road to anywhere in the Kingdom. But I always thought the idea of travelling was to see new cultures and meet locals - not to hang around with people from your home country that you'd never normally talk to and get drunk for 2 weeks.... then claim you'd had some amazing cultural experience in Thailand (read someone put magic mushrooms on your Pizza but you thought you had a blinding flash of brilliance)
Shopping In Bangkok
Bangkok must be the worlds biggest shopping complex. You can buy just about ANYTHING in Bangkok. In act I always recommend my friends to just come to Thailand with a day pack, buy a suitcase here and take home a new wardrobe of clothes and shoes (women) as the prices here are so "competitive" you'll probably never buy at home again.
Pratunam Markets - everything is available
Just remember copies, fakes, and pirates are just as available as the real thing, often from the backdoor of the same factory - but you can suffer stiff penalties for taking this stuff back home.
Ayuttaya
This is the ancient capital of Siam (Siam renamed to Thailand after WW2), but the capital was moved to Bangkok after successive wars with Burma found Ayuttaya decimated. There are ruins here and ancient temples, as well as a modern city. Seeing as it is only an hour train ride away I can only say that I am lazy in that I have not travelled here yet.
Northern Thailand (Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai)
Northern Thailand is colder than the rest of Thailand, and in winter it has been known to drop below 20 degrees celcius (68 Fahr) and old people start die from exposure - true.
Except it does get a little colder than that, up in the mountains but only at night time.
This area is famous for Elephants, even though Elephants are all through out Thailand, in the Northern Provinces they are especially numerous.
Elephants are everywhere in Thailand - Here's one at Soi Cowboy
These areas are well liked by many ex-pats, they tell me the people in Chang Mai and Chang Rai are friendlier and very different from Bangkok and the weather more agreeable.
I have not yet travelled to this area but am hoping one of several film shoots scheduled for this year will get me a paid holiday to this region for several weeks.
Hill Tribes
Along the Burmese (Myanamar) border there are hill tribes, fairly much untouched by Thai culture, or any other culture for centuries. The peoples here apparently live a subsistance lifestyle - this is one area that I really do wish to visit.
North Eastern Thailand (Issan or Isaan)
Home of beautiful brown girls who think they are ugly, spiciest and weirdest food in the world and Thailands Agricultural center.
Isaan Food - in this case Fried Bugs - tasty with Beer I am assured
First up in Thailand tall, light skinned is considered beautiful in a woman. Short and brown, even light brown skin is considered ugly. The Isaan girls are generally looked down on upon by other Thais as they are rice farmers by heritage, lower social class and darker skinned, and often find employment in the lower tiers of the workforce as schooling was minimal for most Isaan children
Internationally reknown DJ Nakadia - prime example of a 'ugly' dark skinned Isaan Girl
I personally have travelled to Udon Thani, Mukdahan, and a few brief stop overs in Isaan. My general impression of the people has always been friendly.
The people here speak Laos quiet commonly as the dialect of choice. Laos is similar to Thai in many ways, but only enough to get you into trouble as you can recognise some words but many others are different.
It is also relatively common for the people in this area to speak Khmer (Cambodian) as much of this area fell under Cambodian rule at one stage in Siamese history. There are also many native (or ex-native) Cambodians living in this region, and their children pick up the dialect.
Those with Cambodian ancestry tend to have darker skins than other Thais.
Most Khmer people live in South Eastern Isaan, along the Cambodian border. Many of the Cambodian people fled Cambodia during the reign of Pol Pot and the genocidal Khmer Rouge and their subsequent war with the Vietnamese supported revolutionary government.
Friendly Isaan students I met at the Bus Station in Mukdahan, near the Laos border
There are so many places to see and so much to do in Isaan again it is beyond the scope of this simple article to even begin but being mainly a rural area there are not the same modern cities, shopping or ruins that are available in many other parts of Thailand.
I would have to say the greatest attraction to Isaan is in fact the people themselves. This can be attested to by the number of foreigners who choose to marry Isaan girls. With one village in particular called the "Swiss Village" so many Swiss men have relocated to this area that entering this village you seem to have hit some sort of spacial warp with Swiss architecture all over the place.
Eastern Thailand (Pattaya, Trat, Koh Samet, Koh Chang)
Koh Samet and Koh Chang
Unspoilt Thai style beach resorts, but the multi-nationals are moving in, get there quick.
I have ridden past these places on a overland bus trip to Cambodia but have never actually stopped, yet. These places are less party orientated and more family / couple orientated. I have been advised to take a girl friend with me if I go otherwise I would be bored as there is not much to do except relax and enjoy the beach, food and drink - perfect for a romantic getaway but not so much fun for the single bachelor.
Pattaya
On the other hand Pattaya has been described as single mans paradise or alterantively the biggest sh*thole on the planet.
Pattaya Beach - alternatively known to ex-pats as "Fun City" or "That crap hole"
Now I have been to Pattaya several times now, and I will be going back many times more, for several reasons.
Pattaya does not obey the same 1am Night Club curfews that much of Thailand adheres to, there is something open all night.
There is a huge disparity in the male/female population ratios, with the women leading by a massive margin - when I used to work nightclub security we always made sure there were more girls than guys in the club as it would guarantee an easy night without fights or violence, as the guys would not want to look like idiots in front of the girls - this seems to be the way in Pattaya too - everybody is so busy having fun that there is little trouble.
It is close to Bangkok and many locals go for a weekend away to Pattaya and party where the laws are more relaxed and so are people's attitudes. For instance my friend takes his girlfriend down there for weekends away as she can wear skimpy and sexy western style clubbing clothes down there without hassle (definitely not on in Bangkok) and you can guess why he loves it.
It is cheaper to party in Pattaya than Bangkok.
MANY ex-pats live down there, in fact I know 2 different mates who used to live in Bondi Beach with me plus a bunch of other guys I have met through out my life who now reside in Pattaya.
Nearly everyone speaks English, so it is easy if you cannot speak Thai.
It is only 1.5 hours away by bus.
Southern Thailand (Phi Phi, Samui, Phagnan, Lanta, Phuket, Surat Thani, Krabi, Hua Hin)
As you can tell by the introduction there is a LOT to do and see in Southern Thailand in fact this is the area that Thailand gets it's well deserved reputation as a beach get away, with more beaches than you can poke a stick at, there is more to do down here than you could do in one life time.
View out of my hut on Phi Phi Island
You really need to spend your first trip here either choosing just one or two places to go and exploring and enjoying them OR go on a whirlwind tour and visit everywhere as a reconaisance mission in preparation for your next visit - I did the later for all the islands.
KOH PHAGNAN - FULL MOON PARTY
Lots of drunken louts about, way too many English and Israelis, undercover police catching people taking ecstaty and smoking pot. Low level Thai mafia selling fake extasy tablets, while their collegues break into tourist rooms and steal everything. Drunks (English mainly) starting fights, local Mafai type Thai guys finishing fights en masse. Vomitting, abuse, etc.
Not my idea of fun, no really.
If you are still in the young 20's age bracket then you will probably love it, but I have been to too many GOOD parties to really enjoy this one - having said that I did pop down 3 mushroom shakes and stay out partying until 12 noon the next day to make the most of it.
Probably best to go there with a group of friends.
Get to Koh Phagnan a few days early and get a bungalow on the beach ready for the big night, nothing is worse than deciding you have had enough and wanting a bed to find none available.
KRABI
Islands, hundred of picture perfect islands - the ideal setting for a pirate movie - in fact the French movie I worked in was shot here as was Blackbeard and many others.
I have to say cruising around the islands on a pirate ship, dressed as pirates probably tainted my experience a bit as not many visitors will have this same experience, but I must say the scenery is breathtaking.
I am assured that the scuba diving in the region is just as amazing.
Now I understand the whole idea of mutiny, on board a middle century sailing ship. Stay here in paradise with food and water a plenty and friendly natives, or go back to cold and rainy England with nothing but money worries and but little chance of marriage
When you think about it not too much has changed has it?
TRAT
Very quiet beach side resorts that never quiet got built, the city itself would be good to stay and have a look around at, as we only managed to slip out for one night between shooting days.
 
Trang, well known for it's beautiful islands hides it's other secret - beautiful lakes
Again the people were more than friendly and foreigners were well and truly the exception, I had a great time while I was down there, and it has encouraged me to see more of the off the beaten path areas of Thailand.
HUA HIN
Again I have not yet been here but it is a favoured beach get away of many wealthier Thais and foreigners, none of the fun/sleaze of Pattaya and Hua Hin has clean beaches.
Friends of mine who are quieter types highly recommend Hua Hin as a destination but for me it is too quiet, maybe one day when I settle down and have a long term relationship it might get a visit.
That's about it for a quick run down, hope you find it useful. Check out the following articles if you are travelling the area and plan on visiting Cambodia or Laos
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